It’s just like a mini-mall!
If I lived in Montgomery, AL I would be there e’er day!!!
Filed under awesome | Comment (0)Girl Crush
So, that’s it. I’m completely in love with Jenna Fischer. Why? Well for starters, she’s fucking cute as hell on The Office, and she’s half of my delicious Thursday night PB&J sammich (Pam Beesly & Jim, for you noobs), but she’s also cool as crap.
No joke.
Bitch gets nekkid for the nerd-porn mag WIRED- earns mega props. Bitch also speaks candidly, honestly, and generally does NOT give a fuck. As demonstrated by her latest interview for Playboy: “How about I piss on your face? Does that make me a real actress? Let’s try that. I’ll do that right here. I’ll do that today.”
Mai. Hero.
Filed under awesome, that's hot | Comment (0)Nickelback can suck a bag of dicks.
I’d like to thank my Lord Jesus Christ for the bountiful blessings he has bestowed upon me this blessed day. He hath given me health, love, good fortune, patience, and virtue…
…and this article in which Chad Kroeger professes his true talent.
What? You thought his talent was singing in a questionably popular “rock” band? Pff. You dumbass.
Filed under WTF?! | Comment (0)I love it when Pajiba agrees with me <3
lol so a few posts down I wrote about Semi-Pro and just read on the loveliest bitchfest blog ever, Pajiba , their review of Semi-Pro.
LOL pretty much same shit, diff blog.
TOLD YOU!!!
Filed under awesome | Comment (1)I feel your pain, brah…
This exchange is pretty much word-for-word what happened when Brandon tried to explain pokemon to me once…except I ended up taking my top off to shut him up.
Filed under awesome | Comment (1)sweet tiny Chola Jesus in the backseat of a lowrider!
ahahahahhaa! Ok, give those captioners awards for being FUCKING AWESOME right now!!!
Filed under awesome, stupid whores, that's hot | Comment (1)“I’ma beat that bitch wit her own leg!”
LOL! So this trainwreck, washed-up trailer park bitch got into a little uh, “altercation” with her sister recently. Bitch beat her sister with her own PROSTHETIC LEG! hahaha. scoreballs.
Filed under awesome | Comment (1)Movies I Don’t Want To See: Semi-Pro edition
Okay Will Ferrell, we GET IT. You’re funny and your forte is dry, repetitive films about pop culture.
I don’t even know what to call this genre of movies Will Ferrell kind of “invented” I guess….but that’s enough, sir.
I’m pretty sure you’re this generation’s answer to Mike Meyers “Yeah, Baby” bullshit of the 90’s and you know what? STOP IT. You stop it RIGHT NOW.
If I have to see one more shirt with shit that you’ve said in one of your cult-following-inducing movies I will personally escort you into Robin Williams movie territory. You don’t want that. It is a bad and scary place, Mr. Ferrell.
I know Hollywood is out of movie ideas, and yes, I know you’re still desperately trying to make up for Bewitched but you’ve got to know when to fold ‘em, sir. And your last hand was dealt like 4 movies ago.
You have inspired less funny versions of yourself to make movies like yours (John C. Reilly, the entire cast of Balls of Fury) and while that may seem like flattery to you, it is cinematic torture on us.
So, if you would, just take a hiatus from these parodies and make more videos with your daughter- she’s the best thing you’ve made in years.
When you come back, the public will embrace you, rather than begrudgingly accept your place as “the guy that makes all those movies with colons in the title”.
Trust me. 60% of the time it works EVERY TIME.
Filed under awesome | Comment (1)Au Naturale
Oh I was about to have an epic bitchfit last night while watching Rock of Love 2!!!!!! EPIC, y’all!!
As it got down to the last pass (or whatever it is he gives those poor skanks to make them feel validated for whoring it up on national television), MY DAISY! MY PRECIOUS ELEGANT CLASSY BUTTERFLY DAISY hadn’t received her pass!
The words “WHAT THE FUCK?!” flew outta my mouth so fast I thought the shock had just stricken me with tourettes! FUCK ME if I’m gonna stick around for those other boring ass hoes!
Just as I scrambled for the remote to change the channel (and thus sparing me from the deep depression that would ensue after my tattooed love goddess’ departure) that asshole let her stay!
GONNA GIVE A BITCH A HEART ATTACK OVER HERE BRET!!!
lol the poor thing looked like four feet of cold-turkey crack withdrawal up until he said her name.
So the show will continue to suck only marginally for the rest of the season, but my little princess lives to skank another day!
*whew*
Filed under WTF?!, crazy bitches, stupid whores | Comment (0)